A Prayer for the Conversion of a Loved One

A prayer for the conversion of a loved one is the petition by which a Christian carries to God the soul of a husband, a wife, a child, a parent, or a friend who has fallen away from the faith or never held it. It is among the oldest and most constant prayers of the Church, for the simplest reason: those who love cannot bear to be saved alone. Below is a prayer that may be said at once for any soul, together with the great traditional means — the prayer of St Monica, the Rosary, and the invocation of St Jude — and the hope and perseverance without which no such prayer is rightly made.

A prayer for the conversion of a loved one

Here is a prayer that may be said for any soul one longs to see returned to God:

O God, who desirest not the death of the sinner but that he be converted and live, mercifully look upon Thy servant (here name the one you pray for), and draw him to Thyself. Where there is hardness of heart, give him a heart of flesh; where there is unbelief, give the gift of faith; where there is sin, give true sorrow and the grace of a good confession. Open his eyes, soften his will, and let no obstacle of pride or habit keep him from Thee. Through the prayers of Thy holy Mother and of all the saints, and through the merits of Thy Son, who came to seek and to save that which was lost, grant that he may at last be wholly Thine, and be saved. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

This prayer rests on a word of God Himself. By the prophet Ezechiel the Lord declares the whole ground of our hope for a soul that seems lost:

As I live, saith the Lord God, I desire not the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way, and live. (Ezechiel xxxiii. 11, Douay-Rheims)

We do not ask God to want what He has refused to want. We ask Him to give, to the soul we love, the conversion He already desires — and to overcome, by His grace, the one obstacle He will not force: the free will of the sinner. That is why such a prayer is never presumption and never wasted. It asks for exactly what the will of God already inclines to.

The prayer of St Monica for a wayward child

No saint stands so near to this petition as St Monica, the mother of St Augustine. For the better part of thirty years she wept and prayed over a brilliant son sunk in heresy and a disordered life, following him across the sea when he fled her, and never ceasing to lay him before God. A holy bishop, sending her away when she begged him to reason with the young man, gave her the words the Church has never forgotten: that it could not be that the son of those tears should perish. She lived to see Augustine baptised, and the son she wept over became a bishop and a Doctor of the Church.

She is therefore the patron of all who pray for the conversion of someone they love, and her prayer is the model of every such petition:

O God, the consoler of the sorrowful and the salvation of those who hope in Thee, who didst mercifully accept the faithful tears of blessed Monica for the conversion of her son Augustine: grant us, by the help of them both, that we may bewail our sins, and find the grace of Thy pardon. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Monica's example answers a fear that visits every Christian parent and spouse. The conversion of a soul is the work of grace, and grace is not bought by our prayers as a wage is paid for labour; but Scripture and the saints alike teach that God wills to give it through the persevering prayer of those who love. Hers is not the prayer of the moment but of the long haul — the same petition carried back to God day after day, year after year, until it is granted.

The Rosary for the conversion of sinners

The Rosary has from of old been the great prayer offered for the conversion of sinners. It is the meditation on the life, death, and Resurrection of Our Lord made through the hands of His Mother, and there is no surer instrument for placing a soul under her care; we set out its full method in How to Pray the Rosary and its prayers in The Hail Mary and The Hail Holy Queen. At Fatima the Mother of God Herself asked that the faithful pray the Rosary and offer their sacrifices for sinners, that souls be not lost; the prayer She taught for that intention may be added after each decade:

O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of Thy mercy.

To take up the Rosary daily for one soul — naming that soul at the start, and offering the whole chaplet for his conversion — is among the most fruitful things a Christian can do for a loved one. The mysteries of the Rosary lead the one who prays through the very acts by which our redemption was wrought, so that he asks for his beloved exactly what Christ has already purchased for him. And the Mother who stood beneath the Cross, and to whom the dying Lord gave us as children, refuses no petition for a soul in danger of being lost.

St Jude, when the cause seems hopeless

When a soul has been prayed for so long, and is so far gone in sin or unbelief, that conversion seems impossible to human eyes, the faithful turn to the Apostle the Church honours as the patron of hopeless cases. We give the full devotion in Prayer to St Jude and his life in St Jude, Patron of Hopeless Causes. To call him patron of the hopeless is not to despair, but to confess that no cause is hopeless to God, and to ask one of His Apostles to bear it before Him. A short invocation, joined to one's own prayer for the loved one, runs:

St Jude, Apostle and martyr, great in virtue and rich in miracles, near kinsman of Jesus Christ, faithful intercessor of all who invoke thee in cases despaired of, pray for the soul I confide to thee, that he may turn to God and be saved. Amen.

The Apostle who, at the Last Supper, asked our Lord how God would make His dwelling in the soul is a fitting patron for this prayer above all, for the answer he received is the only ground of our hope: that the Father and the Son come and abide with the one who keeps the word of Christ. The soul we grieve over is not beyond that indwelling God, however far it has wandered.

Who is the patron saint of conversion?

There is no single patron saint of conversion, but several whom the Church places near this work, each from a different side of it. St Monica is invoked above all for the conversion of a wayward child or spouse, for she obtained exactly that by her perseverance. St Augustine himself, the great convert, is sought as the model of the soul that returns from sin and heresy to the truth. St Paul, struck down on the road to Damascus and turned from persecutor into Apostle, is the very image of the sudden, total conversion God can work in an instant. And St Jude is the recourse when the case seems hopeless. To invoke any of these is to ask their prayers, as one asks the prayers of a friend — never to address a rival to Christ, who alone converts and saves.

How to pray for a conversion — with hope and perseverance

A prayer for conversion is not a charm, and it works no compulsion on God or on the soul it pleads for. The conversion of a man is always the free gift of grace meeting the free will of the one converted, and we may not demand it as a debt nor set God a date by which He must act. What the Church asks of us is something harder and surer: perseverance.

Our Lord Himself gave the rule when He told the parable of the lost sheep and of the prodigal son, declaring:

I say to you that even so there shall be joy in heaven upon one sinner that doth penance, more than upon ninety-nine just who need not penance. (St Luke xv. 7, Douay-Rheims)

And St Paul writes that God will have all men to be saved, and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy ii. 4). The will of God is on the side of the one we pray for. Our task is to keep asking. To that end:

• Pray daily and by name. Take one soul, name him at the start of your prayer, and offer for him your Rosary, your Mass, your Communions, and your small sacrifices.
• Offer your own penance. The faithful have always joined fasting and mortification to their prayer for sinners, that they may share, in small measure, in the labour of saving a soul.
• Keep your own house in order. Go often to confession and to Communion; a soul that prays for another's conversion must walk in grace itself.
• Make a novena. Nine days of prayer under the patronage of St Monica or St Jude focus and strengthen the petition; we explain the practice in What is a Novena?
• Do not lose heart at delay. Monica prayed thirty years. The answer comes not on our schedule but on God's, and often more fully than we dared to ask.

The one consolation that never fails is this: a prayer for a soul is never wasted, however long it goes unanswered. We may not see the harvest; conversions are often hidden, and many a soul is given the grace of a good death after a lifetime that looked lost. The son of those tears did not perish. No one who prays as Monica prayed prays in vain.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best prayer for the conversion of sinners?

The Church gives no single "best" prayer, but several of proven power: the prayer of St Monica for a wayward soul, the daily Rosary offered for one named person with the Fatima prayer added to each decade, and the invocation of St Jude when the cause seems hopeless. The most fruitful prayer is the one said daily, by name, and with perseverance — for what the Church asks is not a perfect formula but a heart that does not give up.

Who is the patron saint of conversion?

There is no single patron saint of conversion, but several whom the Church places near this work. St Monica is invoked for the conversion of a wayward child or spouse; St Augustine and St Paul are the great models of the converted soul; and St Jude is the recourse when a cause seems hopeless. To invoke any of them is to ask their prayers before God, never to address a rival to Christ.

Can my prayers really convert someone?

Your prayers do not convert anyone by their own force; the conversion of a soul is always the free gift of God's grace meeting the free will of the one converted. But Scripture and the saints teach that God wills to give that grace through the persevering prayer of those who love. I desire not the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way, and live, says the Lord (Ezechiel xxxiii. 11). When you pray for a loved one, you ask God for exactly what He already desires.

How long should I pray for someone's conversion?

For as long as it takes, without losing heart. St Monica prayed and wept for the conversion of her son Augustine for the better part of thirty years before it was granted. The answer comes not on our schedule but on God's, and often more fully than we dared to ask. A prayer for a soul is never wasted, however long it goes unanswered.

Can I pray for the conversion of a non-Catholic family member?

Yes, and the Church has always done so. To pray for the conversion of a family member outside the faith is an act of charity, not of presumption: it asks God to give that soul the gift of faith and the grace to come to the knowledge of the truth, which St Paul says God wills for all men (1 Timothy ii. 4). Pray for them by name, offer your Rosary and your sacrifices for them, and entrust them to St Monica, St Jude, and the Mother of God.

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Sources. Holy Scripture, Douay-Rheims version (Ezechiel xxxiii. 11; St Luke xv. 7; 1 Timothy ii. 4); Butler's Lives of the Saints (St Monica, 4 May) and St Augustine, Confessions, Book IX; the traditional prayer to St Jude long in use among the faithful; the message of Our Lady of Fatima (the Rosary and the prayer for sinners); the traditional Roman calendar.