How to Go to Confession: A Catholic Confession Guide

To go to confession, a Catholic examines his conscience, makes an act of contrition with the firm resolve to sin no more, kneels before the priest and accuses all his mortal sins one after another, receives a penance, and is absolved in the words I absolve thee. The Sacrament of Penance was instituted by Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself when, after His Resurrection, He breathed upon the Apostles and said: "Receive ye the Holy Ghost; whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained" (Catechism of the Council of Trent, On Confession, § III). This guide walks through the whole of it, from the examination of conscience to absolution.

What confession is

Confession is one part of the Sacrament of Penance. The Catechism of the Council of Trent defines it as "an accusation of one's sins made in order to receive the remission thereof through the virtue of the keys, in the sacrament of Penance" (On Confession, § II). It is called an accusation for a reason: we do not confess our sins to parade them, nor to recite a story, but with the intention of acknowledging ourselves guilty and of seeking pardon.

The Sacrament is composed of three acts on the part of the penitent — Contrition, Confession, and Satisfaction. The Council of Trent calls these acts "as it were the matter" of the Sacrament, and they are necessary for its integrity and for the entire remission of sins (On Penance, § III–IV). Contrition is sorrow in the heart; Confession is the accusation upon the lips; Satisfaction, the penance, is fulfilled in our works. We treat the full meaning of the Sacrament, and its other names, Penance and Reconciliation, in what is confession. Here we describe how to make a good one, step by step.

Why confession is necessary

It is not enough to be sorry in private. The Catechism is explicit: "every man guilty of a mortal sin cannot return to the life of Grace save by sacramental Confession" (On Confession, § III). Our Lord called the power to administer this Sacrament "the key of the Kingdom of Heaven" — and just as one cannot enter a closed place without the help of him who holds the key, so no one enters heaven if its gates be not opened by the priests to whom Christ confided the keys.

The Church appointed Penance as the easier and surer way of pardon. Contrition alone can blot out sin, but only if it be "so strong, so lively, so ardent, that the violence of the sorrow may equal and reach the enormity of the faults committed" — and few attain so high a degree (On Confession, § II). In His clemency, Our Lord gave His Church the keys, so that the penitent who confesses to an approved priest, sincerely repentant and firmly resolved to sin no more, has all his sins remitted by the power of those keys.

How to go to confession, step by step

1. Examine your conscience

Before presenting himself to the priest, "each one of us ought to make every effort to have Contrition for his sins, and that one can never attain this end, unless one apply oneself to recognise them by going over them in one's memory one after another" (On Confession, § VI). Call your sins to mind, one after another, in thought, word, and deed. Do not pass over this with softness and slackness, for "the little care that one has used in calling to mind one's sins" may show that one had no will to remember them at all.

A measured, honest examination is the foundation of everything that follows. For a method, use our examination of conscience, which passes the soul through the Commandments, the precepts of the Church, the capital sins and the duties of one's state, and shows how each sin is put into words. Weigh which sins are grave by the three conditions set out in mortal and venial sin.

2. Be sorry for your sins — make an act of contrition

The accusation of the lips is worth little without sorrow in the heart. Inward Penance "consisteth in returning to God from the bottom of the heart, in sincerely detesting the sins which we have committed, and in being firmly determined and absolutely resolved to reform our evil habits" (On Penance, § I). Without this firm purpose of amendment there is no true contrition. Sorrow that springs from the love of God, who is infinitely good, is perfect contrition; sorrow that springs chiefly from the fear of His chastisements is imperfect, and it too suffices within the Sacrament — a distinction we set out in contrition and attrition. Form this sorrow before you enter, and renew it with the words of the act of contrition.

3. Approach the priest with humility

"Every sinner who repenteth ought therefore, in the first place, to cast himself at the feet of the Priest, with sentiments of humility and of abasement" (On Penance, § III). In the confessional the faithful kneel, the head uncovered, the eyes cast down, raising suppliant hands. These marks of humility are not the essence of the Sacrament, but they dispose the heart to receive grace, and they teach us to reverence in the priest the person and the power of Jesus Christ Himself — for in the administration of Penance, the priest "holdeth the place of Our Lord," at once judge and physician of the soul.

4. Confess your sins — what to say in confession

This is the heart of the act. "Then he will confess all his sins one after another, in such a manner as to acknowledge that he deserveth the greatest and the most rigorous chastisements" (On Penance, § III). What to say in confession follows three rules the Catechism lays down (On Confession, § V):

• Confess every mortal sin. "We are bound to disclose to the Priest all our mortal sins" — to enumerate them all, one after another, even those which are most secret. Venial sins it is good and useful to confess, "as the practice of pious persons proves," but one may omit them without sin and expiate them by other means. Confession that deliberately conceals a mortal sin is no true confession, and burdens the soul with a new sin besides.
• Name the kind and number, with the grave circumstances. State each sin as it is, and "make known the circumstances which accompanied them, and which notably increase or diminish their malice" — those circumstances which "suffice of themselves to imprint upon a fault the character of mortal sin." Where a sin is of a kind that changes its gravity, that must be said.
• Be clear, simple, and sincere. "The Confession ought to be such that it makes us known to the Priest as we know ourselves." Do not confess "with art," dressing up a defence of your conduct instead of an accusation of your sin. And do not say too much: "Too many words are worth nothing. One must say briefly and with restraint what is necessary to make known the nature and the quality of each fault."

In practice this means: tell the priest how long it has been since your last confession, then accuse yourself plainly — the sin, its gravity, and roughly how often. You need not narrate the surrounding story. You name the wound so that it may be healed.

5. Receive your penance and absolution

After the accusation, "he will implore the pardon of his faults" (On Penance, § III). The priest, as judge, assigns a penance — a satisfaction proportioned to the offence. The penitent then makes or renews his act of contrition, and the priest pronounces the form of the Sacrament: I absolve thee. These words, the Catechism teaches, are the complete form of Penance, transmitted to the Church from Our Lord Himself; "the absolution pronounced by the Priest expresseth the remission of sins which it produceth in the soul" (On Penance, § III). The priest does not merely declare you forgiven, as the priest of the old Law declared the leper clean — he truly gives, as minister of the Lord, an absolution ratified by God Himself.

Afterward, fulfil the penance assigned. Of the three parts of the Sacrament, Satisfaction is the one accomplished in our works; we treat it in what is confession.

What happens in confession

In a traditional church the confessional is a wooden booth: the priest sits in the middle compartment, and the penitent kneels at one side, separated from him by a screen or grille, so that confession can be made without being seen. The priest wears a purple stole, the sign of his power to bind and loose. When the slide behind the grille opens, the priest is ready; he may give a short blessing. You confess, he counsels and gives a penance, you say the act of contrition while he prays the absolution, and he dismisses you. The whole is usually over in a few minutes. Times for confession are posted in the church, often before Mass on Sunday and on Saturday afternoon.

What to say in confession: a simple confession script

Many who have been long away freeze at the door, not knowing what to say during confession. The words are short and fixed, and once they are spoken the rest follows. Here is a confession script in the traditional order, the one taught in the older catechisms.

1. Begin. Make the Sign of the Cross and say:

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [one month / six years / so long as I can recall] since my last confession.

In many places the penitent then said the first part of the Confiteor, the Church's prayer of confession. It is a good custom, but not required:

I confess to almighty God, to blessed Mary ever Virgin, to blessed Michael the Archangel, to blessed John the Baptist, to the holy Apostles Peter and Paul, to all the Saints, and to you, Father, that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word, and deed, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault.

2. Accuse your sins. Name each mortal sin by its kind and its number, then any venial sins you wish to add: "I missed Mass on Sunday twice through my own fault. I lied about five times. I gave way to anger with my children many times." No story, no excuses. If you do not know how to phrase a sin, name the thing plainly, and the priest will help.

3. Conclude. When you have finished, say:

For these and all the sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry, and I ask pardon of God, and penance and absolution of you, Father.

4. Listen. The priest may ask a question to understand a sin, give you counsel, and will assign your penance: some prayers, or a good work. If you did not hear it, ask him to repeat it.

5. Make your act of contrition. When the priest begins the absolution, say the Act of Contrition aloud and quietly:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

6. Receive absolution. In the rite of 1962 the priest prays in Latin, ending with the form of the sacrament: Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis, in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti (I absolve thee from thy sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost). Make the Sign of the Cross. He dismisses you; you may answer "Thank you, Father," and leave to perform your penance.

That is the whole confession script. The Catechism asks only that the accusation be clear, simple, and sincere (On Confession, § V); there is no secret formula to master beforehand.

Going to confession after a long time

A first confession after a long time, ten, twenty or forty years, is easier than it looks. Tell the priest at the start: "It has been about twenty years since my last confession." He will understand, and he will help. Confess the mortal sins you can remember by kind, and give the number as well as you honestly can: "about once a week for several years" is a true answer when the exact number is lost.

You are not expected to remember everything; you are expected to make an honest effort. A sin forgotten after an honest examination is forgiven with the rest, and you mention it at your next confession if it comes back to you. If you are unsure whether an old confession was good, or want to set the whole of your life in order, you may ask the priest to help you make a general confession.

Prepare with more care than usual: take time over the examination of conscience, and remember that sorrow need not be perfect to be sufficient within the sacrament, as we explain in contrition and attrition. If it is the thought of confessing to a man that has kept you away, read why Catholics confess to a priest. The Iter Fidei confession app helps here: you tick the questions of the examination, the sins gather in a private notebook, and the step-by-step guide stays with you in the confessional.

How to make a good confession

A good confession is not a longer or more eloquent one — it is an entire and honest one, made with true sorrow. The Catechism of the Council of Trent reduces it to a few conditions, and a confession that meets them is a good confession however halting the words.

• It is entire. Every mortal sin is disclosed, none deliberately held back, named by its kind and number with any circumstance that notably changes its gravity (On Confession, § V). A confession that knowingly conceals one mortal sin is not merely incomplete; it is invalid, and adds a sacrilege to the soul.
• It is contrite. The accusation of the lips is worth little without sorrow in the heart and the firm resolve to sin no more (On Penance, § I). Form this sorrow before you enter — see our act of contrition — for it is the soul of the Sacrament.
• It is humble and plain. Accuse yourself; do not defend yourself. The Catechism warns against confessing "with art," dressing up a defence of one's conduct instead of an accusation of one's sin, and against saying too much, "for too many words are worth nothing" (On Confession, § V).
• It is followed by amendment. A good confession bears fruit in the works that follow: the penance fulfilled, the occasion of sin avoided, the habit reformed.

Do all of this and you have made a good confession, whether you are a lifelong Catholic or returning after decades. The grace given does not depend on your skill in confessing but on Christ working through the keys He gave His Church.

How often should I go to confession

The Church commands every one of the faithful, having reached the age of reason, "to confess their sins at least once each year" (On Confession, § IV). That is the minimum the law binds under. But the Catechism urges far more than the minimum. "Every time that we are in danger of death," and every time we are about to do a thing a man stained with sin is not worthy to do — chiefly to receive the Holy Eucharist — we ought to have recourse to confession.

And above all we should not delay: "As soon as one has had the misfortune to fall into some mortal sin, nothing can be more salutary... than to confess it without delay" (On Confession, § V), because of the numberless dangers that ceaselessly threaten us. We who are so quick to wash the body, the Catechism asks, should we be slower to purify the soul?

So the honest answer to how often should I go to confession is: at the very least once a year, always after a mortal sin and before Communion, and as a settled habit far more often than the law requires — that the conscience be kept clean and the soul be strengthened against relapse.

On the seal and on shame

Two fears keep souls from the confessional, and the Catechism answers both.

The first is fear that the priest will reveal what he hears. He cannot, and he will not. "The Priest to whom they shall have confessed will [n]ever reveal to anyone the sins they shall have made known to him." The Council of Lateran is cited: "Let the Priest tremble ever to betray the sinner by a word, by a sign, or in any other manner whatsoever" (On Confession, § VI). The seal is absolute. For this same reason one may not confess by letter or by proxy — the secret could not be kept exactly enough.

The second is an evil shame that dares not speak. The Catechism calls this "a fault far more disastrous still," and answers it plainly: there is nothing to fear in disclosing your faults, "since their Confessor will never be astonished to find men sinners: this indeed is an evil that is common to all" (On Confession, § VI). And if you forget a sin and remember it later, nothing should hinder you from returning to the priest to declare it.

The fruit of a good confession

The roots of Penance are bitter, but its fruits are full of sweetness (On Penance, § IV). The Sacrament re-establishes the penitent in the grace of God and unites him to Him in friendship; received with faith and piety, it ordinarily produces "a deep peace, a perfect tranquillity of conscience, and ineffable joys of the Holy Ghost." And no sin is beyond it: "There is, moreover, no crime so great and so horrible that it cannot be effaced by the Sacrament of Penance, not only once, but twice, but always."

The saints knew the worth of this tribunal: Saint John Vianney, the Curé of Ars, spent much of each day in the confessional, and penitents came from all over France and waited days for their turn; the Church honours him as patron of parish priests, and many ask his help in a novena to St John Vianney.

This is why Our Lord made Penance a Sacrament that may be repeated — seventy times seven times — so that the soul wrecked after Baptism might seize the second plank that St. Jerome speaks of, and be saved (On Penance). To go to confession well is to take hold of that plank: examine, repent, accuse, satisfy, and receive from the lips of the priest the absolution that God Himself ratifies.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you go to confession?

Examine your conscience, calling your sins to mind one after another in thought, word, and deed; be sorry for them and form a firm purpose of amendment; then kneel before the priest, tell him how long it has been since your last confession, and accuse all your mortal sins plainly — the kind, the number, and any grave circumstance. Receive the penance the priest assigns, renew your act of contrition, and hear him pronounce the absolution, I absolve thee. Afterward, fulfil the penance given.

How do you do confession in a Catholic church?

In a Catholic church confession is heard in a confessional, where the penitent kneels. You begin with the Sign of the Cross, say "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned; it has been [so long] since my last confession," then accuse your sins one after another, naming the kind and roughly how often. You need not narrate the surrounding story — name the wound so that it may be healed. The priest counsels you, gives a penance, and absolves you in the words handed down from Our Lord Himself: I absolve thee from thy sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

What do you say in confession?

After the opening greeting, accuse yourself plainly: confess every mortal sin, naming its kind and number and any circumstance that notably changes its gravity, then any venial sins you wish to add. The Catechism of the Council of Trent gives the rule — be clear, simple, and sincere, so that "the Confession makes us known to the Priest as we know ourselves," neither dressing up a defence of your conduct nor saying too much, for "too many words are worth nothing." End by saying you are sorry for these and all the sins of your past life.

How does Catholic confession work?

It works by the power Our Lord gave His Apostles when He breathed on them and said, "Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them" (On Confession, § III). The penitent supplies the three acts that are "as it were the matter" of the Sacrament — contrition (sorrow with a firm purpose of amendment), confession (the accusation of his sins), and satisfaction (the penance). The priest, holding the place of Christ as both judge and physician, supplies the form: the absolution, I absolve thee. These words do not merely declare the sinner forgiven; they truly remit the sin, by an absolution that "God Himself ratifies." That is the whole mechanism — your honest accusation and sorrow met by Christ's forgiveness through the priest's keys.

What do you say during confession if you have not been in years?

Say so at the start: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been about twenty years since my last confession." Then confess the mortal sins you remember by kind and, as honestly as you can, by number ("about once a week"). The priest will help you; a sin forgotten after an honest examination is forgiven with the rest.

How do you start a Catholic confession?

After the priest greets you, make the Sign of the Cross and say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [so long] since my last confession." Then begin accusing your sins one after another. There is no formula to memorize beyond that opening; the Catechism asks only that the accusation be clear, simple, and sincere. If you are nervous or out of practice, tell the priest so — he is there to help you make a good confession.

How do you make a Roman Catholic confession?

The same way it has always been made: examine your conscience, be truly sorry with the resolve to sin no more, kneel before an approved priest, and accuse every mortal sin by its kind and number, with any grave circumstance. Receive your penance, renew your contrition, and hear the absolution, I absolve thee from thy sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Whether one says "Catholic" or "Roman Catholic," it is one and the same Sacrament of Penance handed down from Our Lord.

Can non-Catholics go to confession?

Sacramental absolution is given to the baptized faithful of the Catholic Church, who are bound to confess their mortal sins at least once a year. One who is not yet a Catholic is not admitted to the Sacrament of Penance, but is most welcome to speak with a priest, to be instructed in the Faith, and to be received into the Church — after which the confessional is open to him. A non-Catholic seeking God should begin not with confession but with the Faith itself; see how to find God and what is confession.

How often should I go to confession?

The Church binds the faithful to confess at least once a year, and always after a mortal sin and before receiving Holy Communion. But the Catechism urges far more than the minimum: as soon as one has fallen into mortal sin, "nothing can be more salutary than to confess it without delay." A settled habit of frequent confession keeps the conscience clean and strengthens the soul against relapse — we who are so quick to wash the body should not be slower to purify the soul.

The Iter Fidei confession app walks you through the examination of conscience, keeps a private notebook of what you tick, and guides you step by step in the confessional, act of contrition included. Join early access here.

Sources. Catechism of the Council of Trent (1566), On the Sacrament of Penance (chapters on Penance, Contrition, and Confession); Rituale Romanum (1952 typical edition, used with the Missal of 1962), the rite of the Sacrament of Penance; Baltimore Catechism (1891), the Act of Contrition and the manner of confessing.